Inside many a ‘carefree’ – some women use the word ‘toxic’ – bachelor lurks a lonely guy who will do almost anything (and anyone) to avoid being on his own for too long. He’ll try to fill the void with anyone who’ll sleep with him. There are, of course, exceptions but most women who have casual sex are either drunk, hopeful of something more from the liaison, desperately seeking solace or expecting to be paid by the hour.
The carefree bachelor will continue to churn through such encounters, hoping to find that special someone who can fulfill his fantasies and make him happy. Such a paragon continues to elude him, but that doesn’t stop him cluttering up his life with relationships that don’t work for him.
Invariably he will obsess over some fantasy goddess whose appeal increases exponentially with her rejection of him.
- Prioritise self-development
Self-confidence must be cultivated as a daily practice like meditation. Bear in mind that nobody can love you more than you love yourself. That doesn’t necessarily mean going overboard with boy-toys as a means of escapism. It entails making self development your most pressing priority especially if your self-confidence is barely hovering at the halfway mark.
The arid landscape of your inner world may be littered with the emotional debris of rejections past and present, but now is the time to deal with it instead of using meaningless encounters as a means of self-avoidance.
- Make the best men your mentors
Learn to really enjoy your own company. Get to know yourself
A degree of self-awareness is vital if you want a relationship to last for more than a week. Watch and learn. Study alpha males like George Clooney, Johnny Depp, Bruce Willis or Roger Federer. Emulate their haircuts, dress-styles, way of walking and talking.
- Make space for somebody new
If you want a girlfriend in your life, make space for her. And I’m not just talking about your apartment. Clear the decks of your ego. Sweep out the emotional dust balls. Ruthlessly examine all your beliefs about yourself and women. Throw out the ones that no longer serve you or that you no longer want to be true for you. You know, all that self-pitying stuff like: “Women are bitches. Women just use me.”
But it’s true, I hear you whine. Of course it is, you loser! Your beliefs sculpt your reality.
- A new attitude, Dude!
If you don’t like your reality you have to change your beliefs, especially your beliefs about yourself. Use affirmations instead. Tell yourself in the mirror every morning and evening just before you brush your teeth: “I am a babe magnet!”
Write it out and stick it up where you’ll see it to remind you. Thoughts are powerful manifesting tools so make yours positive. That’s how you re-program your reality.
- Use your imagination
Another very powerful way to make things true is to imagine that they have already happened. You have to resonate with what you want. So, go on, dare to dream.
How would your life be different if you had a gorgeous woman in it? How would you feel? Tap into those feelings. Pretend you’re the guy dating Keira Knightly. Emotions (energy in motion) provide the speed train to your most desirable future.
